Are You Happy?

I was reminded of this Emerson quote the other day, “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” There is another version of this quote that replaces the phrase “peace of mind” with the word “happiness.” I was struck by the difference engendered by these two concepts—happiness and peace of mind—and was surprised at the “ah-a” moment that I quickly experienced as I pondered.

By most accounts, happiness is defined by experiencing a state of joy and elation; in contrast, peace of mind indicates a state where your mind or brain is calm and unfettered by worry. For me (and I’m guessing for most people) happiness does indeed come from a compilation of moments or events where that state of joy and/or elation is experienced, but holding on to this state long term is an elusive and exhaustive endeavor. Peace of mind however is a state that can be achieved long term by all of us, particularly when stress and worry are well managed and therefore temporary.

So, you might be wondering what that “a-ha” moment was for me? It was the realization that peace of mind is the constant, something that can achieved long term, and happiness is the momentary. It was also the realization that we don’t have to try to reach a state of happiness as if it’s a permanent place to exist. Instead, we can focus on achieving a state of calm, free of worry and unencumbered by the anxiety of the unknown. If we think of happiness as an emotion to be experienced periodically and peace of mind as the sense of knowing that no matter what happens, we are and will be okay, then we can be much more successful in our ability to actually manage the stress that comes with our daily lives. We won’t be forever chasing the ephemeral idea of an emotion (happiness) that is SUPPOSED to come and go but rather we can stand firm on a sense of well being and appreciation (gratitude) of that which is always right here within our grasp; that which is grounded and real.

So, the next time someone asks you if you’re happy, you might want to think twice before you answer.